Oh, Eli . . .

Anyone that knows me knows that Eli was the other 'man' in my life. That little 7 pound, long legged, skinny, hair-ball was my little shadow. For the past six years we went everywhere and did just about everything together. Take a look at him and you'll understand why I never stood a chance at becoming the Alpha Dog in this relationship.



Everyone told me that once we had a baby our dogs would become just that: dogs. Even though that was partly true, I was determined to keep them apart of the family - even if they were no longer the center of it. From the get-go Eli was fantastic with Addison. He would cuddle with her & I in the rocker during Addison's early months. As she got older and more coordinated, Eli would actually play with her - but always kept a safe distance just in case she went for him. Afterall Addison does outweigh him by three times!




Eli was always the first to get to Addison in the morning - I think that this was his favorite part of the day. He would hear her on the monitor and would just get so excited. When I opened the bedroom door Eli would rush to Addison's crib whining and jumping. Eli's excitement was always matched by Addison's; she'd smile and laugh at her little buddy while exclaiming, "E! E! E!" So much for "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" :)




While they were good buddies, I never trusted the dogs 100%. Eli had come so far. He despised kids before Addison came and now he would actually accept them. But still, he is a dog and their behavior can be unpredictable.

It turns out I was right not to put all my trust in Eli . . . Last Saturday Addison cornered Eli and was going for Eli's eye (what is it with kids' obsession to touch eyes??!!) then before I could stop her Eli went for it. As soon as he 'attacked' he realized what had happened. He laid down next to my crying baby and you could just tell that he really wanted to take back the past 20 seconds.

I swooped Addison up and she had little cuts on her nose and cheek. Her lip had also been cut open and it had already ballooned into quite the fat lip. The entire left side of her face was swollen and had instantly turned black and blue. Addison, of course cried for a bit. She was in pain and I'm sure she was confused about how it all played out. I know that she doesn't remember the incident but I still wonder if she ever realized that Eli was the one who had hurt her.

After a quick response from my family, Addison had completely forgotten her new owies and was showing off for Grandma, Grandpa & Uncle Kyle by spinning around in circles, singing, and laughing. She clearly was not going to have any physical or mental scaring from the incident.

Once I realized that she was okay and wanted to show-off rather than cry, it was my turn to cry. Nothing is worse than seeing your baby get hurt and not being able to help her in time. When i was running to stop her from cornering Eli it just felt like I had concrete feet - almost like the world around me was in fast-forward and I was in slow motion. I just could not get there quick enough. Then to see my baby hurt, bleeding and swollen . . . I would have given ANYTHING in the world to take her pain away.

And after dealing with all those horrible feelings, I had to face the fact that Eli - Eli did this!! How could he? Doesn't he love her as much as we do? How could he have done this? I do think Eli loves his Addison; but he is 'just a dog.' His instinct was to defend and that is what he did. Now that we know his instinct is so strong we can't take the risk of this happening again . . . which means that Eli needs a new home.

That night Eli stayed with Kyle and then has been with my parents ever since while we get this whole thing figured out. I know that there are a lot of people who don't understand . . . they expect me to hate Eli now. . . . Believe me, for the first few days I was so mad that I didn't want to see him or talk about any of it. I just cried. My little side-kick had hurt the most important person in my life! But it's useless to be angry at him, it just makes the whole ordeal even more difficult.

The next few days I cried because I missed Eli. When I would go to get Maybel her treats during the day, I would always grab two bones out of habit. I hate putting the second one back - its a cold reminder that Eli is never coming home.

To all those who have called and emailed new home suggestions for Eli: I thank you. As for now, it seems that we may have found an appropriate living situation for Eli.

A week after the incident, Addison has a faint bruise left on her cheek and the rest has healed nicely. She occasionally walks around looking for Eli (usually when she has one of her toy balls that he just loved) but I think in a very short time she won't even remember her "E."

Addison comes first and she always will. With Addison's safety being the most important thing in my life, we cannot allow Eli to come back home - but that doesn't mean that my heart isn't breaking without him.